Tuesday, 1 December 2009

Design can change the world

It's true!


Wednesday, 11 November 2009

Theyr'e back!

OH GOOD! Hammaka is back again!

I missed them. They have turned their website back on - it's a retail site now. Somehow they managed to resurrect their program.

And they're selling a new whizzbanger under a new company called 'Septcon' (a new con formulated in september of last year). Brilliant!

Dealers who were kept on backorder since last May will be thrilled, I suppose... but wait - it looks like 90% of them dropped the Hammaka line.

It's no fun without a nemesis - welcome back Bailey!

Wednesday, 14 October 2009


Yesterday, it came to my attention that HAMMAKA has gone out of business.

This comes as no surprise.

Imitation vs. Innovation is destined to fail sooner than later.

We invite former HAMMAKA clients to review the original line of premium grade relaxation gear and contact Mrs. Ilana Lent at DART Seasonal Products for new accounts and marketing materials.

Ilana's email is ilana@dartsp.com. Complete contact information for DART Seasonal Products is here.

Thursday, 1 October 2009


Check out our facebook page to see what we've been up to lately!

Wednesday, 16 September 2009

The HammockSource - The Comfort Compromise

I just received the September issue of Casual Living Magazine, "the voice of the leisure marketplace."

On page 36 begins the article by Cinde W. Ingram:

"The HammockSource transforms backyards around the world."

The HammockSource has indeed altered the way hammocks are sold in America and around the world. However . . .

Here are some misleading factoids from the article:

"South Carolina riverboat captain Josh Ward essentially reinvent(ed) the hammock, crafting a more stable and comfortable lattice-like woven hammock design and adding a wooden spreader bar where none had been before."

Let's break down this absurdly false sentence:

1. "Josh Ward essentially reinvented the hammock..." - FALSE. Cap'n Josh made a lazy sketch of a hammock with a rope cargo net from his boat, and he wasn't the first to do it.

2. "...creating a more stable and (more) comfortable lattice-like woven hammock design..."
FALSE. Anyone who has a basic understanding of physics knows that the bars create tension along a central line that makes the hammock "tippy," or UNSTABLE. Authentic hammocks, without wood spreaders, are supremely stable, as any reasonably educated hammock user knows.

The gaping weave in Josh Ward's rope hammock is not more comfortable than anything that pre-dated his "creation." The "lattice-like woven hammock design" is certainly not attributable to Josh Ward. Superbly comfortable, authentic Mayan hammocks predated Cap'n Josh by at least 900 years!

3. "...and adding a wooden spreader where none had been before."
FALSE as evidenced below:

This engraving (available on Wikipedia), from 1630,
predates Josh Ward by 259 years:

Theodor_Galle_after_Johannes_Stradanus.PNG‎ (744 × 551 pixels, file size: 543 KB, MIME type: image/png)

Here you see that "hammocks," with wood spreaders and lattice like weaving were "created" centuries before Josh Ward came along.

Josh Ward may have inspired the Pawleys Island Hammock Company, but he was an imitator not an innovator.

Captain Josh Ward was not even the first lazy rigger to install wood bars in his "hammock." He merely copied a bad copy.

Weaving comfort into a hammock is an art form. The art of comfort takes time, and a great deal of skill and patience that Captain Josh Ward wasn't willing to apply 120 years ago.

Josh Ward's "contribution" to the hammock world is a romanticized bit of fiction - authored by The HammockSource, a company built on propaganda.

"A sign inside the company's 280,000 sq.-ft. plant in Greenville, N.C., speaks to its underlying philosophy: Quality is when our customers come back and our products don't"

The high number of disappointed HammockSource customers coming to us as a result of this "philosophy," underscores their compromise between durability and comfort.

Our philosophy: Transcendent Comfort defines a hammock.

The primary function of a hammock is to provide COMFORT - religious, transcendent, COMFORT.

If you lay in a hammock and say - "
Oh my God, this is HEAVENLY ...ABSOLUTELY WONDERFUL!" you are definitely not in a hammock from The HammockSource.

The HammockSource builds hammocks that can be made quickly, for a great profit, subtracting the time and effort required to build comfort into their designs. Making hammocks from materials that are impervious to weather is a fine concept, but it is not feasible beyond a certain point without compromising comfort.

The HammockSource sells us a ride without transporting us.

There are half a dozen photos on page 36 of the article - showing hammocks in various stages of production at their plant in Greenville, N.C., and yet no mention of the fact that the majority of The HammockSource product is made in China(and has been for the last decade).

This is the very reason we are now weathering the worst flood of sub-standard goods in the history of the hammock.

The main character of the real shammock saga is Mr. Perkins. It's obvious that he worked hard to build his business, is a businessman, and he is respected for that accomplishment.

However, the premise that he has done something positive for the world of comfort and leisure is wholly false.

According to the Casual Living article, Mr. Perkins began his career selling cigarettes, a product well-known as a leading cause of death and discomfort around the world.

He moved up to selling another popular product that conveys the image of comfort without providing any, the Rope Hammock.

The marketing skill and business savvy required to pull this off with a straight face is somewhat beyond my imagination, but nonetheless impressive and extremely lucrative.

The article ends with a statement from CEO Walter Perkins III

"It's hard to argue with success."

That it is, Walter... however,

We define success in terms of values like truth and comfort, not dollars.

I disagree with the premise of your article, and with the misleading self promotion that has caused so many people to suffer lost comfort, even loss of life, for the sake of your profits.

History will show the "success" of The HammockSource as trendsetters in a near obliteration of the comfort standard in the hammock market, and a temporary whitewashing of The Comfort Compromise.

Casual Living, once again spotlights a loyal advertiser with an in-depth "Company Report" masqueraded as journalism. Bravo.


Wednesday, 9 September 2009

Panama Hammocks medium Hammock

You could grab a sheet off your bed and tie it between two trees and achieve the same effect.

OR, you could pay $64.99 at Hayneedle for a hammock they sourced at under $6 - and sweat your backside off while layin under those trees.

It's a GREAT deal, and there's lots more to choose from at Hayneedle - your shammock superstore:

Panama Hammocks Medium Hammock – Pepper | Chairs and Hammocks
Imagine a warm summer evening gazing up at the stars. Wouldn't this be an awesome way to do that? The Panama Hammocks Medium Hammock - Red is perfectly.

Friday, 4 September 2009

You don't know Jack

Jack cites a main disadvantage of hammock chairs, as if they are all made alike; that you can't put your feet up. Nonsense! What Jack is trying to say is that shammock chairs lack the space to put your feet up. He goes on to discuss various types of shammocks with no sense of his own ignorance, whatever:

Garden Hammocks. What to consider? Stand type, Farbic Type?
By Jack
You must ensure that you buy the right stand for your choice of hammock, a chair hammock for instance would require a very different stand from a traditional hammock. You must also consider things like whether your hammock has spread ...
Jacks Garden Store - http://www.jacksgardenstore.com/blog/

The best hammock chairs are comfortable enough to sleep in.

Trees vs. Hammock Stands

The IDIOTS who wrote the blog entry below recommended hammock stands in preference to trees citing improved hammock stability as a reason. Utter nonsense!

Trees are always the superior choice and hammock stability has to do with the wood spreader bars in the hammock, has nothing to do with the stand.

If you fall out of the tree, you will land on the ground.

If you fall out of a hammock hung on a conventional hammock stand you land on the metal bar beneath it.

What type of hammock would you recommend? | Hammock Chair Stands
By admin
I'm looking for a two person hammock, probably able to hold 500 pounds. It will be used outdoors. I'm looking for something with minimal maintenance yet.
Hammock Chair Stands - http://hammockchairstands.org/

HUGE hammock chair stand

It's a ridiculous waste of metal tubing - it takes the same space as a compact car:

Outback Chair Co. C-Frame Hammock Chair Stand | Chairs and Hammocks
By chairsandhammocks
What We Like About the C-Frame Hammock Chair StandThe C-Frame Hammock Chair Stand gives you the freedom to enjoy a hammock chair virtually anywhere. A.
Chairs and Hammocks - http://chairsandhammocks.com/
Wonder why they don't show it in perspective to a human being in ANY of their pictures?

It's HUGE !
Read the Customer reviews!!


What more could you want?

Hammaka Parachute Portable Hammock | Chairs and Hammocks
Lightweight portable and big enough for two. What more could you want?The Hammaka Portable Parachute Hammock is constructed of the highest quality.

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Bad Mojo Hammock Chair

This is truly one of the most horrid, uncomfortable contraptions on the hammock chair market:

Kingcord Bouganville Forest Green Hammock Chair W Forest Green Cushion
By admin
Aluminum Tripod Frame w Natural Tan Hammock Chair & Wood Dowels Kingcord Bouganville X-Large Deluxe Hammock- Natural Beige. Hammaka Hammock Chair Tripod Stand Forest Green w Wood Dowels. The Kingcord Bouganville Forest Green Hammock ...
Mentored - http://mentored.lookforsurpassed.podzone.net/

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Keep your day job, Mark

Thanks, but you aren't qualified to write about this subject.
Rope hammocks are NOT comfortable, no matter how you spin it.

How to choose a Hammock | All Set
By Mark
But as popularity has grown, some manufacturers have created stand-alone hanging systems which enable you to move your hammock chair into more open areas. They are also much more stable and might be a good option for use by children or ...
All Set - http://www.allset24.com/

Another content mercenary paid to type words that doesn't comport with reality.

Ginormous hammock chair stands

Come on folks, if you want a hammock chair stand that takes the same amount of space as a compact car - this one from hayneedle/hammocks.com is for you:

#1 Selling Handmade Mayan Hammock Chair! | Chairs and Hammocks
By chairsandhammocks
The ultimate seat for all ages shapes and sizes. This comfy hammock chair hangs from a 40-inch sturdy wood bar and features easy single-point attachment.
Chairs and Hammocks - http://chairsandhammocks.com/
Convert the single point hammock chairs, like the one featured above, to a dual point hammock chair.


Dual point hammock chairs are safer.
Dual point hammock chair stands take a minimum of space.
Dual point hammock chair stands are small enough to use indoors.
Dual point hammock chair stands require no tools for assembly.
Dual point hammock chair stands cost less.
Dual point hammock chair stands look classy.

XCHAIR and HAMX2GO™ comprise a dual point hammock chair system.

PALAPA™ is a dual point hammock chair that seats 6 people.

If you buy a single point hammock chair, odds are you can still fix it and make it better. Most can be converted.

Choosing the Perfect Hammock

Well, the title is nice, but . . .

the people who wrote it are paid content mercenaries with no concept of comfort, or how you should go about choosing a comfortable hammock.

Shammock perpetrators-beware:

Choosing the Perfect Hammock
Many people envision a lazy afternoon of rhythmic swaying as they enjoy the world of nature from within the confines of the perfect hammock.

Have a comfortable relaxation . . .

It makes me laugh, but it's really sad!

Who writes this ridiculous drivel?

Outdoor hammocks | Garden Decor
By BeautifulGarden
Have a comfortable relaxation in your own backyard while listening to a soothing music. You will have a more pampering morning or afternoon when you lie in an.
Garden Decor - http://www.buygardendecor.com/

People who sell you rope hammocks, and paid content bloggers with a 6th grade education, that's who.

Leisure Hammocks - "Have a comfortable relaxation..." - enjoy their sham mockery of comfort.

Island Bay XL Rope Hammock with Metal Stand Ultimate Set

Here is hammocks.com or "hayneedle" as they are now called - the ultimate online shammock site promoting their house brand shammock, Island Bay XL Rope Hammock.

Offering you the ultimate shammock experience.

Island Bay XL Rope Hammock with Metal Stand Ultimate Set | Chairs ...
By chairsandhammocks
We guarantee our Island Bay Rope hammocks will give you the ultimate hammock experience. An extremely high quality and high comfort hammock the Island Bay.
Chairs and Hammocks - http://chairsandhammocks.com/

Sure, you can trust them.

Monday, 31 August 2009

Hammaka Shammaka Spam

Paid "web content" by shammock purveyors and sellout bloggers.

Hammaka Nami Chair Forest Green
Hammaka Nami Chair Forest Green 1 chair B000I7U1B8 SportingGoods Hammaka.

~ Lawn Hammock Swing Stand, Suelo Hammock Chair Stand Powder ...
By admin
Suelo Hammock Chair Stand trailer hitch, ★ Chair valet Stand, ★ lowes Hammock Stand, ★ make Hammock Chair Stand, ★ Suelo Hammock Chair Stand powder coated steel, ★ walmart Hammock Stand, ★ Hammock seat Stand, ★ Chair Stand test, ...
V48jt - http://v48jt.heron-statuexhpg.bytechase.cx/

Great hammock, Bad stand

Looks like you got a great Mayan hammock . . .
sorry you bought a shammock stand that greatly reduces its comfort potential.

The only stand that properly suspends a Mayan Hammock is Infinity™.

August Cookout : The Orange Room
By jackie
Gracie loves the hammock. Everyone loves the hammock. August dessert table 2. The August dessert table. I'm really thrilled with this one, I made devil's food cake with vanilla buttercream (with polka dots that my niece Grace helped me ...
The Orange Room - http://www.jackiereeve.com/

Disclaimer - Rope Hammock Scammer

Written by another clueless "content" mercenary, hired by rope shammock purveyors:

Choosing the Perfect Hammock By Galia Ivanova At Isnare.com Ezine ...
By Galia Ivanova
Title: Choosing the Perfect Hammock, Category: Home Management, Author: Galia Ivanova, PubDate: 2009-08-31.
Latest articles from Isnare.com - http://www.isnare.com/

I LOVE the disclaimer at the bottom of this shammock article:

DISCLAIMER: All information, content, and data in this article are sole opinions and/or findings of the individual user or organization that registered and submitted this article at Isnare.com without any fee. The article is strictly for educational or entertainment purposes only and should not be used in any way, implemented or applied without consultation from a professional. We at Isnare.com do not, in anyway, contribute or include our own findings, facts and opinions in any articles presented in this site. Publishing this article does not constitute Isnare.com's support or sponsorship for this article. Isnare.com is an article publishing service. Please read our Terms of Service for more information.
Two cute babies on a Rope Shammock.

Caption should read:


Siriana Mae & Helen Elizabeth: Hammock time
By The Viking
Hammock time. posted by The Viking at 9:24 PM. 0 Comments: Post a Comment. Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]. Links to this post: See links to this post · <$BlogBacklinkTitle$>: <$BlogBacklinkSnippet$> ...
Siriana Mae & Helen Elizabeth - http://babysimo.blogspot.com/

Hammaka Shammock Chair Tripod

One of the most ridiculous contraptions ever conceived for hanging a hammock chair

Look at the footprint required to use this product - and compare it with a real hammock chair stand that does the job in 40% of the space.


Hammaka Hammock Chair & Tripod Stand Forest Green W Aluminum ...
Hammaka Hammock Chair and Tripod Stand Aluminum Midnight Blue 4021HMKA Aluminum Forest Green 4022HMKA The Tripod StandChair Combo can be taking anyway with ...

Shammock Spam

Why do shammock purveyors even think you are dumb enough to follow spam links slammed together like this? Typical shammock blog spam full of broken links.

Lots of plugs for the Hammaka brand single point shammock chair:

~ Garden Swing Chair Spares, Swing Chair Wicker Patio Furniture ...
By admin
Hammock Hammock Chair Stand Leisure Hammock Portable Hammock Patio Swing Chair ... www.globalsources.com/manufacturers/Patio-Swing.html. ★ three seat Patio Swing, ★ play Chair For Patio, ★ hammock Chair For Patio, ★ Patio Swing ...
Lv24wlg - http://lv24wlg.square-soakingyjft.dyns.cx/

Grandstream - Hammock Swing Chairs Along With Hanging Hammock ...
By admin
Hammock Swing Chairs ♥ Along With Hanging Hammock Chair Tree & Hammaka Hanging Hammock Chair ★. Site, ★ Safe Duo Purify Stick Tea Air Full, ★ To, ★ Chairs Hanging Chair Rope Hammock, ★ Hammock Chair Hanging Kit, ★ Hammock Chairs ...
Grandstream - http://grandstream.pricer.vietnamesevtvw.whyi.org/

Hanging Cradle Chair In Addition Chair Hanging Pivots Foot Rest ...
By admin
Hammaka Cradle Chair Hammock | Garden - Shopping.com. Compare prices Hammaka Cradle Chair Hammock and other garden at Shopping.com. Shop and find the lowest prices on products from online merchants. ...
Unfinished-sideboardn - http://unfinished-sideboardn.lutyensltlh.dyns.cx/

Garden Chair Swings , Make Swing Chair , Bubble Swing Chair - Damaged
By admin
(2)new Hammock Chair Swings Garden Porch Tree Outdoor Prairie Leisure Garden Chair Swing (2)new Hammock Chair Swings Hanging Porch Tree Outdoor Garden Chair Swing Folding Iron Garden Chair with Cushion Lakewood 4-ft. Painted Porch Swing ...
Damaged - http://damaged.furniture.repaira.wallwlwm.whyi.org/

Hammaka Hanging Hammock Chair-Cherry Red W Wood Dowels

This clap-trap Hammaka Hanging Hammock Chair is for you. . . if you like the idea of dangling uncomfortably in a chair with fixed armrests, a drink holder that slaps you in the face while you sit in the chair, and a single point design, doomed to eventual failure.

Hammaka Hanging Hammock Chair - Cherry Red W Wood Dowels
By admin
Aluminum Hanging Hammock Chair w/ Optional Stand Hammaka Hammocks Wood Dowels Cradle Chair And Suelo Stand/Wood Chair Combo- Cherry Red. Quantity Hammaka Hanging Hammock Chair- Cherry Red w/ Aluminum Dowels $69.99. ...
Digital Cakes - http://digitalcakes.co.cc/

Dual Point Hammock chairs are superior: The CON2OUR™ Hammock Chair, from Green Eggs & Hammocks, is best in class.

Mayan hammock stands

Despite what is being said on hammockchairstands.org:

NO, YOU CANNOT hang a Mayan style hammock from a "classic" shammock stand - i.e. the "tri-beam" stand.

Mayan hammocks need suspension points ten to 12 feet apart, and roughly 6 feet above ground. This is higher and closer together than the common stands which are made for hammocks with spreader bars - properly hung at 13' to 15' apart and 4' to 4.5' above ground. Mayan hammock can be STRUNG UP on a common stand, but will not open properly.

If you follow the advice of these shammock purveyors, you will end up cursing the Mayan hammock for "wrapping you up like a taco." Let's lay the blame squarely on these shammock dolts and common shammock stands, which do not properly accommodate Mayan hammocks (spreaderless hammocks). Common 3-beam hammock stands, and Roman Arch style stands, do not even suspend the Caribbean style hammock (those with spreaders) in an ideal manner.

The shammock purveyors at hammockchairstands.org are clueless:

can you hang a mayan or mexican hammock from a traditional stand ...
By admin
I have a mayan/mexican hammock (without a spreader bar). Can I hang this from a classic stand like this, for.
Hammock Chair Stands - http://hammockchairstands.org/

These "classic" stands are all open forms. As such, they wobble as the hammock swings, damping out the soothing sway of your hammock in a few short seconds. Furthermore, the pipe junctions, where all the stress is placed on these stands, are on the ground, where they rust. The wooden arch-style stands are laminated - and in a short time the laminate comes apart as it sits in the sun and rain.

A few short seasons and your "classic" hammock stands will break.

The bar that lies directly beneath the hammock on classic stands is a tripping hazard.

You can't mow under it. It leaves ugly brown spots in your lawn.

"Classic" stands bigger and heavier than they need to be, and provide less utility than they should.

The solution is our patented stand- called Infinity™
The only true
Universal Hammock Stand.

Infinity™ is the only stand which will properly accommodate both Mayan (spreaderless)hammocks and hammocks with spreaders.

You can even improve the sway of the shammock you bought from the other guys, if you put it on our Infinity™.

"classic" 3-beam stand shown inside the Infinity™ for a size reference

Views of Infinity™ with Mayan and Caribbean style hammocks.

Foreground: Mayan hammock shown on Infinity™ with shade canopy.
XCHAIR Universal Hammock Stand in the background
Camping shammocks. I have yet to find one that is remotely comfortable in comparison to The Original Mayan Hammock™. Our Mayan hammocks are far superior. Add a mosquitonet and a lightweight rain fly, and you have a far superior setup that weighs no more and packs no larger than specialized "camping hammocks," and you'll sleep comfortably.
Hammock Fest 09 Pictures - Hammock Forums : Your Number One ...
By ricegravy
Hammock Fest 09 Pictures Hangouts, Campouts, and Trip Planning.
Hammock Forums : Your Number... - http://www.hammockforums.net/forum/